Metro Escalators

Okay, anyone in DC will get this:
What is the deal with Metro escalators!? They are broken CONSTANTLY. Then they fix them, and the one next to it breaks. I mean, are the escalators built in Taiwan? or are those burly biker guys that repair them elementary school dropouts?

I, Interested?

I'm actually hoping to get over to a theater and see Will Smith's new movie, I, Robot. I was at first appauled by the thought of Will Smith taking on the lead role in an Isaac Asimov story, but after reading the article in Wired I had a change of heart. I'm interested to see what reflection this movie makes on our society, a society where we have toilets that flush themselves; f.y.i.: I don't like a robot telling me when I'm done.

What the hell is the deal with cities these days?

We are the richest freakin' country in the world and yet we can't figure out where to build a freakin' city! I mean seriously; look at the evidence:
Chicago--too windy
Miami--too hot
Minneopolis--too cold
Seattle--rains too much
Pheonix--doesn't rain enough
Washington DC--built in a freakin' swamp!
Denver--built on a freakin' mountain!
San Fransisco--built on a freakin' fault line!
Not only that, but what's the deal with some of these names? I mean...Scaggsville...really...I sincerely appologize to all those Scaggsvillians out there that have to write it on their envelopes every day...sucks for you...

Damn Canadians!

I swear they've done it! Slowly but surely they have infiltrated the deepest realms of our US treasury with their counterfeit pennies! I received yet another from a cashier today and I examined it very closely. It is the EXACT same diameter as a US penny. Now all my gripes aside, I have a serious comment,
Dear Canada,
Please stop faking our pennies and step off b****!
Thank You,
US Money Enthusiasts
Next order to rant on, those Barbadian quarters! I mean really, they are freakin' identical!

Answering Machines

People of the world! I implore you, no, more, I bequeath you! Please maketh it clear on thine answering machines that it is not you who intends to parley! Many a time I have been trickethed into beginning speech with an entity who is unto it self but for a single beep!

Grapefruits...

Forrest has forced me to blog about this...What is a grapefruit? Really... Was the guy who first called it a grapefruit not aware that there was already a grape? That was also a fruit? It just seems redundant to name two fruits that are so clearly not alike with such a blatantly similar name...