The Transformation

This is scary...it has recently occured to me that I look remarkably like John Mayer. I don't have a suitable picture, so those of you who don't know me will just have to take my word for this. The scarrier part is, I really like his music.

Consolations

Have you ever noticed that a popular phrase for consolement is "There, there." i.e. You dropped your ice cream and your mom says, "There, there, I'll get you another one..." What does this phrase mean exactly? It seems to stipulate that by pointing out something seemingly nonexistent, not once, but twice, you can make a person feel better. Or perhaps it's "They're there.", in which case, who is it, and where are they? And why is this supposed to make me feel better?

Spam

I've compiled a few of what I find to be the funniest subjects of spam messages. Here they are:
healthier, happier, harder! taffy volleyball
release the man in you galveston beard
why arent you punky crusoe
except for me gallivant imbibe
she told me that.. badinage dispute
more girth=happy women toenail coed
Wow...that makes me laugh...and cry.

Alien vs. Predator

Wow. I can't believe that I actually went to see this movie. I was totally expecting a stupid, plotless...what I got was somewhat more... The plot wasn't Casablanca or anything...and the direction wasn't Spielberg, but the movie was actually quite entertaining. The graphics were pretty compelling as well as the twists around every corner. I recommend it.
On another note, my friend and I were discussing what cameo roll Arnold Shwarzenegger (star of Predator) would have played in this movie, perhaps an address to the Predators would read (Imagine thick Austrian accent)"Hey Mr. Predator, what do you think you are doing with you fancy swords boomerang things? I could easily defeat you in any election! Who are these aliens you are fighting? They look like my wife..."

Declare Yourself! Bitches!

I've been seeing these commercials a lot on Comedy Central...including the one with Larry David..check them out, and then go register to vote...if you are so inclined...and over the age of 18...Loser...

SAT

Today I had to take a stupid aptitude test for an SAT course...blegh! I forgot whether or not I've gone on my standardized testing rant yet, so I will now.
As you may know, students with learning disabilities are entitled to additional time on the SAT and other standardized tests. This is curious. Is this how we standardize things? Should freakin' prodigy-type super brainiac students be restricted to less time on standardized tests? or perhaps other distractions...like be forced to take the test in a burning ring of snakes with Metallica playing?

Tasty Foods

Well, the good news is, through the miracle of the internet, I have managed to find a Dairy Queen that is even closer to me, about 2.62 miles away rather than the previous 6.68 I had been going. The bad news is, after seeing those mouthwatering commercials for Sonic, I REALLY REALLY wanted one in my area...I hit up their website, but unfortunately, it is just a bit out of reach at a whopping 152.17 miles away...too bad...

Collateral Damage

Today Forrest and I saw Collateral. My overall impression is a good one. I think that the director Michael Mann, writer of The Insider (excellent movie with Al Pacino), and accomplished creator of Miami Vice (and notably, the first person to make a Miami Vice credit a good thing--See Ron Pearlman). Jamie Foxx gave a great performance that personally reminded me of his role in the movie Bait, another great action movie that I quite liked. Tom Cruise was also great, but I don't know how I feel about the grey hair. Yet another movie with an ending that left me seeking more though...I hope that by the end of this summer I can be fulfilled. I'm going to try to get to The Bourne Supremacy by the end of this week, meanwhile, everyone should see Collateral, it definitely lives upto the hype.

Rick James

Died today (yesterday) around 9 in the morning of "natural causes". All jokes aside, I do wonder what this "Superfreak"-turned-'80s superstar last words were. Perhaps "I'm choking, bitch!"?

The Manchurian Review

Unlike the name may suggest, no, America is not invaded by the Manchus, but rather, the Vice Presidential candidate is brainwashed by a copany called Manchurian Global (A subsidary of Google probably...). Anyway, it is probably more of a combination of the two candidates for this coming years' election, Dick Cheney (Brainwashed by Haliburton, scratch that, probably evil to begin with...) and John Kerry ("Mr Kerry! Do you have dreams about Vietnam!?" "We were brainwashed into suggesting him for the purple heart"). Also very disturbing was the overbearing and undeniably creepy mother (Streep) who's only talent to mention is chewing ice (shudder)... Denzel Washington gave a decent performance, probably the best of a conspiracy theorist since Mel Gibson. Overall, the movie was better than the ending...

MTV

Well, I was watching MTV's coverage of the democratic national convention(well, actually I was trying to watch Pimp My Ride), 3 days after the convention ended. Anyway, to my point, MTV has got to be the only tv station where I can watch John Kerry deliver a speech with eminem playing in the background...ummm...right.......